BODY
B- is doing really well. Scars are nicely healed. I have a lingering radiation tan but really most other times I can forget about it. If I lie face down in bed or in yoga, there's a definite lump that isn't budging or smooshing around, but that's about it at this point.
I no longer feel the intense coldness run through the left side of my chest when I drink something cold like I did before. My PS didn't have an answer for that one either.
My range of motion and strength is almost back. I'll let you know after the Spartan Beast Run next weekend. It's somewhere between 12 and 13 or 25 miles... Rope climbs and stone lugging and monkey bars, oh my! The surgery took alot out of my core to where I felt weaker there than in my arm and shoulder so I've been trying to focus on that. I finally ran like 2 miles without stopping. It felt really good to be out there but damn! I can't believe I covered 26.2 less than a year ago?! If next week does me in then I shall read this-
MIND
Oh the mind is a funny thing. Swinging wildly between "I forget this happened at all" to "Holy shit this is what I look like now... because of cancer." But even when you've placed it far back your mind, it's still there. And just because you got off easy, you see others aren't.
I was following a blog for a while written by Lisa Bonchek Adams. She wrote of her cancer and her positive outlook and spirit was inspiring. But over the last couple of months she began to update that her medications were no longer working, the side effects were becoming more severe, new areas of metastasis were showing up. It seemed her Facebook updates were becoming shorter and shorter and in a span of a few weeks, her body lost the battle and she passed.
I had a patient come in with her recent biopsy results positive for BC. She gave me copies to keep in her file in case I needed them. She had just learned, and didn't really even understand what they meant.
Another patient had her surgery a year ago. She was sent for an MRI on her back because of lingering pain after a recent car accident, but the MRI picked up on possible metastasis in her spine.
My main thoughts have been "How do I take this and turn it into something to give back, how do I use myself to help others who have been through it or are going through it?"
I watched a great documentary on CPTV the other night. The story of the research of cancer over the last few decades. ANY breast cancer used to be treated with a radical mastectomy. Then they developed the lumpectomy, and medications to suppress growth, and ways to examine one lymph node to determine if cancer has spread vs. removing more and prolonging recovery.
It featured a young doctor, a breast cancer surgeon herself, who was diagnosed with a different type of cancer in each breast. She underwent bilateral mastectomy and chemotherapy. They featured her surgery, and it was so interesting to see it as if I was watching my own. Taking out the sentinal lymph node, glowing bright blue with the isotope locator. They send it to pathology and then they wait for them to call back- over the speaker in the OR, telling them if there is or is not cancer there before they either stop or search for more to test. I held my breath for her, like I'm sure her doctors did.
Throughout this, this doctor's spirit and attitude was amazing. She had concerns about having lymphedema after her treatments, because it meant she may no longer be able to do surgery. She said,
"There are some things you just are."
This really struck me. Because I just am a chiro!! Not that I am only that, but this treating and physically working on people and helping them is what I just.... am! If I couldn't do this anymore I seriously wouldn't know what to do. But I have a need to do more, provide more. I feel limited right now.
SO! DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!
Like I said before, I feel so lucky that I came through this mostly unscathed, and if I did, then I owe it to myself and others to provide for those who need more. "It's what I just am", or "do"... or "are". One of those.
I am currently working on getting a group fitness instructor certification. BUT my ultimate is to become a registered yoga teacher. I am going to focus on rehab and recovery, specializing in cancer recovery and rehab (obvs!). It's a natural adjunct to chiropractic, with a focus on mechanics and balance and stability, but the mental aspect of yoga struck me so much when I returned to it after my own surgery. Feeling and immersing yourself in that peace and strength, when you're in possibly one of the most overwhelming and helpless times of your life - it's unbelievably powerful.
I have more- but I have to like, actually work now....
I hope you let me throw some asanas up here for practice in the next few months. Try them yourself! And if you fall on your ass, read that top picture again.
